Ouchie! My Bum!

Yes, as the title of this little rambling lets on, I will be talking about my bum. Alright, alright, before you get too grossed out, I'm not going to go on about the workings of my fine little tushy, but rather my fantastic gluteus maximus. I heart my gluteus maximus, a lot. That puppy helps me grind up hills, power through snow drifts in the morning, and provides a nice amount of cushion to sit on all day long at work ( and in the off-season, maybe a little too much). Thank you gluteus maximus. I don't know where I would be without you, other than not fitting into my pants.

Ok, you may ask where the h3ll I'm going with this business, but I assure you I do have a point here people. On Saturday I paid (and yes I did pay a pretty penny) a visit to my massage therapist. I heart her a lot. As you have probably read before, she has the hands of the Incredible Hulk. Instead of turning green when she is angry, she takes it out on your body during a massage... Ouchie! So, back to Saturday. I had the impression that Terri would be working mostly on my lower back and pelvic area because I had once again successfully thrown my hips and lower back out of whack shoveling the weekend prior. Yeah, I know, I'm that good. So Terri went through her normal routine and it was time for me to flip so she could work on my backside.

::flip::

My back had the usual knots that Terri dug her elbow into, and then she got down to my aforementioned bum. Holy Jesus, Mary and Joseph did that woman find treasure (please people, get your heads out of the gutter!!). I have never been dealt such pain from that woman in all my visits! It felt worse than the time she worked on me after I crashed my bike into a fence (yeah, we'll save THAT story for another time...). I was whimpering, SHE MADE ME WHIMPER! It was a good thing it was a Saturday and no one else was in the clinic to hear how pathetic I sounded, it may have been embarrassing. Trudging through the snow to the bus stop has done a number on my fantastic gluteus maximus. My apologies to my bum for the abuse the past few weeks! I hope you can forgive me, but mostly I hope you can forgive Terri. She means well...